Your Child's Terrific Twos
by Dawn Marie Barhyte
wrdmastr@warwick.net
The most exciting and challenging
characteristics of toddlers are it seems they
are changing everyday. Indeed toddlers are experiencing
a metamorphose from a totally dependent baby to
a can do kid. The period between 15 months to
3 years is marked by a myriad of developmental
milestones. The toddler's personality is developing
rapidly along with control over their body and
speech makes growth rate seem phenomenal. In fact
toddlers may be the world's greatest explorers,
and their explorations occupy most of their waking
hours.
With their increased confidence,
coordination and competence exploratory behavior
becomes more diverse. In their ceaseless attempts
to examine and master their environment toddlers
use every one of their five senses. Toddlers will
touch, feel, manipulate and taste to explore their
environment and undoubtedly will test limits imposed.
This playful investigation toward their environment
not only expands the child's conception of their
world but also gives the early explorer a growing
sense of independence. It's important to give
lots of praise and opportunities for this seemingly
tireless exploration. Their rapidly emerging language
clearly demonstrates what it means to be autonomous:
"Me do it" shows the drive for independence
"Me, Mine" indicates toddlers are beginning
to see themselves as individuals with possessions.
And of course the infamous "No" is further
clue to their push for separateness and independence.
As they approach their second year, children will
see themselves as more separate from parents and
increasingly autonomous. When twos become aware
of themselves as individuals they realize they
can make choices and have opinions. This blossoming
sense of self is coupled with an emerging obstinacy
and strong will. Our challenge as parents is to
be cognizant of this newfound sense of self is
fragile in spite of the vehemence with it's expressed
and to shore up our little ones with praise, support
and encouragement for the giant steps they have
made towards personhood.
Toddlers are furiously becoming
mobile, verbal, autonomous, social and thoughtful.
It's vital to genuinely appreciate and enjoy toddlers
for what they are rather than what they will become.
Toddlers zest for life, their tireless curiosity
and zeal to discover can make them exhausting,
demanding and equally wonderful to behold. Toddlers
are on the go most of the time and their constant
mobility is a developmental marker. Toddlers learn
through their own experiences, trial and error,
repetition and imitation. Parents can guide and
facilitate this learning by ensuring the environment
is safe and supportive.
Because they are trying to figure
out how things work they may encounter unsafe
situations. Toddlerhood is a unique stage with
it's own set of developmental characteristics
and needs. If prepared with a genuine understanding
of the nature of this age group, the special tasks
they face and the powerful feelings that could
evolve even first time parents can help ease the
transition through this tumultuous developmental
stage. When you know what to expect, what toddlers
are able to do and what they are ready for and
plan appropriate activities that will enhance
development thereby minimizing frustration for
both child and parent alike. Being misunderstood
increases the frustration of being a toddler.
Toddlers are delightful for many reasons including
their excitement and enthusiasm for anything that
captures their fancy, their sheer determination
to master and control and their rapidly expanding
ability to communicate in words. Clearly the strengths
and delights of toddlers outweigh the stress,
problems and negatives. Be firm, patient and above
all maintain a sense of humor. With the right
attitude the "terrible twos" can become
terrific twos.
Milestones
Although no two children develop at
the same rate, most children should be able to
do certain developmental tasks along a timeline.
If you have concerns talk to your pediatrician
during your next appointment if you note major
differences between your children's development
and these milestones. Following are some general
guidelines for judging if your toddler is growing
at a healthy pace.
According to the Nancy Balaban
PhD Of The Bank Street School Infant/Toddler Program
here are some guidelines of developmental milestones
for children ages 15 months to 3 years:
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